The 1 Question CBP Officers Fear!

To enforce U.S. immigration and customs laws, CBP officers have significant authority. However, despite this authority, they often struggle to answer a defiant question from passengers: "Why me?"

As a veteran officer and trainer, I have firsthand experience with this challenge and have been asked by hundreds of officers how to handle this uncomfortable situation. It’s a difficult question, especially given the current U.S. priority of facilitating travel rather than focusing solely on security, as was the case post-9/11. While some travelers are selected for additional screening, the majority are not.

In this blog, we will explore how border officers can effectively address this question by understanding conversational framing and adapting a sales tactic known as the 3As technique—modified specifically for this context.

Understanding Conversational Frames

Conversational frames are the unspoken rules that shape our interactions with others. For example, the way you speak to a coworker follows different unspoken rules than when you address a department director or agency leader. Everyone operates within frames, and in any conversation or interview, the person with the stronger frame usually controls the interaction.

When a passenger asks, “Why me?”—or more accurately, “Why did you select me and not someone else?”—they are likely acting out of frustration, anger, or even prejudice. Their question is often an attempt to take control of the conversation. If an officer immediately answers the “Why me?” question, they are shifting into the passenger’s frame—essentially surrendering control of the interaction.

Instead, the officer’s frame should be: “I am responsible for enforcing U.S. laws and protecting the public. Challenges to my authority will be addressed firmly but professionally.” By maintaining this mindset, officers can steer the conversation with confidence and authority while upholding professionalism.

Effectively Handling "Why Me?"

Now that we understand conversational frames, let’s apply them to handling the “Why me?” question effectively.

The first step is to maintain your frame by not acknowledging the question. Yes, act as if the question is irrelevant and not worth acknowledging it . This will signal to the passenger that his/her question is irrelevant and would move along with your inspection. Then, continue your inspection with a firm yet professional tone.

If the passenger insists on getting an answer, re-establish your frame by flipping the question. The goal is to keep them engaged in answering your questions while giving the illusion that their question will be addressed. Here’s how to do it:

“We’ll get to the ‘why’ soon, but first, let’s focus on the ‘where’ and the ‘what.’ Where are you right now? At the border or airport. And what do you need to do to enter the country? Yes, you must submit to questions and an inspection if necessary.”

By guiding the conversation this way, you ensure the passenger follows your frame. Once they start cooperating, you regain full control of the interaction. At this point, you can choose to answer their “Why me?”—not as a concession, but as a way to build rapport while maintaining authority.

Handling "Why Me?" Question Using the 3As Technique

In sales, when a prospect refuses to buy, they are challenging the seller—just as passengers challenge officers with the "Why me?" question. Top sales professionals use the 3As Technique to overcome objections and build trust. Similarly, officers can use this method to maintain control of the conversation while fostering understanding with travelers.

The 3As Technique consists of three steps, applied in sequence without hesitation:

1. Acknowledge

After receiving a "Why me?" challenge, the first step is to acknowledge the passenger’s frustration using a firm yet professional demeanor. Say:

"It’s frustrating to return from a trip, wait in long lines, and go through security screening."

This acknowledgment disarms the passenger because you are verbalizing their thoughts and showing empathy. When you appear to be on their side, it becomes difficult for them to argue against you.

2. Answer

Next, provide a response that states an undeniable truth, reinforcing a shared goal:

"Passengers want to travel quickly, but they also want a secure journey."

By highlighting a benefit they personally desire—security and efficiency—you minimize resistance. Since this is an obvious fact, there’s little room for argument.

3. Ask

Finally, shift control of the conversation by posing a strategic question:

"How can we keep you and your family safe while traveling if we don’t inspect people?"

This question forces the passenger to consider the necessity of inspections, effectively placing the burden of justification on them. You have now:
✅ Aligned with them (Acknowledgment)
✅ Stated a benefit they want (Answer)
✅ Reframed the conversation in your favor (Ask)

When executed correctly, the 3As Technique neutralizes the "Why me?" challenge while reinforcing the officer’s authority. Like any skill, it requires practice to perfect tone and wording—but when mastered, it is highly effective.

Conclusion

Border officers often face challenges when confronted with the "Why me?" question during inspections. However, by understanding conversational frames and applying structured techniques like the 3As, officers can handle these interactions with confidence and control.

While these strategies require practice, mastering them allows officers to maintain authority, foster cooperation, and ensure border security—all while treating travelers with professionalism and respect.