The 1 Question CBP Officers Fear!

To enforce U.S. immigration and customs laws, CBP officers have significant authority. However, despite this authority, they often struggle to answer a defiant question from passengers: “Why me?”

As a veteran officer and trainer, I have firsthand experience with this challenge and have been asked by hundreds of officers how to handle this uncomfortable situation. It’s a difficult question—especially today, when U.S. policy emphasizes facilitating travel rather than focusing solely on security, as was the case post-9/11. While some travelers are selected for additional screening, most are not.

This post explores how border officers can effectively address the “Why me?” challenge by understanding conversational framing and applying two foundational communication techniques that help maintain authority, professionalism, and control.

Understanding Conversational Frames

Conversational frames are the unspoken rules that govern how people interact. You naturally use different frames when speaking to a coworker, a supervisor, or an agency leader. Frames determine who leads, who follows, and how the interaction unfolds.

In any conversation, the person with the stronger frame—the one who guides the interaction confidently and calmly—typically controls the direction.

When a traveler asks:

“Why me? Why did you pick me and not someone else?”

…it is rarely a genuine request for information. More often, it comes from

• frustration,
• impatience,
• embarrassment, or
• a desire to challenge your authority.

If an officer immediately answers the question, they shift into the traveler’s frame—allowing the traveler to set the rules of engagement.

Instead, your internal frame should be:

“I am responsible for enforcing U.S. laws and protecting the public. Challenges to my authority will be handled firmly, professionally, and without losing composure.”

This mindset helps officers stay grounded, confident, and in charge of the interaction.

TECHNIQUE 1: Maintain Your Frame by Not Acknowledging the Question

The first technique is simple: do not directly acknowledge the “Why me?” question. Act as if it is irrelevant to the inspection process—because operationally, it is.

Responding to the question immediately pulls you into a defensive position. Ignoring it keeps the focus where it belongs---in the inspection!

Here’s how this works in practice:

• The traveler asks, “Why me?”
• You continue your process without reacting.
• Your tone remains firm, professional, and neutral.
• Your body language signals that the question does not alter the inspection.

Most travelers—seeing that you are unfazed—move on.

This technique reinforces your frame and prevents the interaction from becoming a debate.

TECHNIQUE 2: If They Persist, Shift Their Attention to the “Where” and the “What”

Some travelers will continue to press:

“Why me? Answer the question!”

When this happens, you can reassert your frame by refocusing the conversation using a grounding technique:

“We’ll get to the ‘why’ soon, but first let’s focus on the ‘where’ and the ‘what.’

WHERE are you right now? At the border or airport.

And WHAT must you do to enter the country?

Yes—you must submit to questions and an inspection when required.”

This approach accomplishes three things:

1. Redirects the traveler’s attention away from the confrontation.
2. Affirms your legal authority calmly and professionally.
3. Re-establishes the flow of the interview, keeping them engaged in your process.

Once they begin cooperating again and you have regained full control of the interaction, you can choose whether to answer “Why me?”—not as a concession, but as a rapport-building gesture.

Conclusion

Handling the “Why me?” question becomes far less stressful when officers understand conversational frames and use them intentionally. By maintaining your frame, ignoring the initial challenge, and redirecting persistent travelers with the “where and what” technique, you stay in control without escalating tension. In the next post, we’ll explore a separate, highly effective technique—THE 3As Technique—that officers can use to build rapport and overcome traveler resistance in a structured, professional way. Talking about highly effective, have you check out our Shop for the gear and tools that will make you best damn professional officer in your port!